Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hammering A Toe

Now, that might sound like a strange title but it's very apropos for this post. Those of you who are still subscribed to this blog (which I call MAP) undoubtedly know it has been a long time since I posted regularly here. I have been busy with life and trying to build up another blog, Jan's Funny Farm, in order to find a means to survive financially. Plus, I've had a lot of excess stress since my mother died three years ago and I haven't felt prepared to post on this blog.

It stays on my mind that I want to continue it. But in what capacity? For some time I thought of posting a Bible verse a day, but I was so overwhelmed with things that have to be done I never got around to it. Then I made a decision to post something, anything until I could figure it out. So at 10:53 am on Friday, January 15th, I dived in and just posted an entire chapter, Matthew 1. I didn't think MAP had any readers left, so it didn't matter. It was a beginning.

Now, at this time I had a recovering cat and a sore toe, but both were improving. I fed the dogs about 6:30 pm, Buddy on one side and Sam & Merci on the other. Buddy (about 40 pounds) finished his food and suddenly leaped at Sam's dish. One foot landed squarely on my sore toe so hard I thought he'd broken it. I screamed! Still, they had to go for their after dinner walk. It was a short one! When we turned toward home, Sam (about 65 - 75 pounds) started barking at something across the street. I stopped to peer into the darkness. Sam, highly excited, leaped into the air while swinging his body around. When he does that, it just about knocks me down. This time he landed squarely on the painful toe. I screamed.

There were two more incidents at bedtime. There was a lot of screaming that night. And during the next week because the mishaps kept occurring and the infection set in around the toenail. My recovering cat took a sudden turn for the worse. By Wednesday, pain, exhaustion and a couple of other health issues crowded out all thoughts of MAP posts. (Imagine hitting your thumb nail with a hammer. And then again and again and ..... Pain would cloud your mind.)

In the early hours of Sunday, January 24, my cat died. Before I could get dressed and bury him, I knocked a large spray bottle off a table directly onto my toe. It burst the sac of infection. I screamed and cried. Yet the nightmare wasn't finished. There was another blow to the toe to come at bedtime. Were there more after that? I can't and don't want to remember!

Although MAP posts fell by the wayside through this, my faith in God has not. When I can't sleep for the pain, I try to remember the good things God has done for me -- for us -- and praise/thank Him for it. Going through a painful trial does not mean He has abandoned us or is any less deserving of praise. In fact, our praise/thanksgiving is more precious at such times. It's easy to be thankful when things are going well.

The last few days, Ephesians 6 has been running through my mind. So today as I was reading it, I decided to share it with you. Ephesians 6 is the "Armor of God" chapter. I've heard a few jokes recently about needing steel toed boots, but what I really need is the armor of God to protect me in my struggle "against principalities, against powers against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

You can pooh-pooh this connection if you want or call it coincidence, but consider that I spent several days limping on a sore toe without incident and my cat was doing well. However, within a few hours of posting the first Bible chapter, things changed, and posting was soon neglected. Again.

I don't promise to post here daily, but I do intend to post more frequently. Even if only a Bible verse. Sometimes a Bible verse is all it takes to turn a cloudy day into a sunny one.

I know God does help us through the emotional pain of losing someone close to us, as well as through the pain of losing a beloved pet. And he also helps us through the physical pains of life, even when they seem overwhelming and God is silent. My toe is still painful and ugly but I am hopeful it will heal soon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jan, it is nice to see you back on, hurt toes and all, and your words helpd me today
KC aka Gentleannie